Submission 1: Formal Letter

 

Subject: Self Introduction

Dear Professor Blackstone

My name is Claire, I am a student from class t6 of your effective communication class. I hope that through this letter you will be able to know me better.

I recently graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in aeronautical engineering. After graduating, I worked in the insurance industry for 1 year as I was unsure about my career path. Working in the finance industry made me realized that it was not a career that I wanted to pursue in the long run. Thus, I made the decision to pursue a degree in mechanical engineering at the Singapore Institute of Technology.

When I was young, I watched a lot of "Air Crash Investigation" on National Geographic and that naturally made me interested in the different types of aircraft. This made me determined to enter polytechnic instead of junior college as attending polytechnic would allow me to pursue my interest much earlier compared to attending junior college.

My strength in communication is that I am able to break the ice easily when I am around new people as I am very extroverted. In addition, I worked in customer service for a year so I am very used to talking to strangers. As for my weakness, I tend to become very nervous when I have to speak in front of a big crowd of people and because of that, I tend to stutter a lot.

I hope that through this module, I am able to improve my presentation skills and writing skills so that I can communicate my ideas well to other people.

Best Regards,

Claire Chia

MEC1281 Class T6


Commented on Wei Yan's, Alex's and Shaun's post

Comments

  1. Jian YeowJanuary 20, 2021 at 7:11 PM

    Hello, your introduction is clear in its purpose. It is short and concise with with explanation of your strength and weaknesses in communications and is coherent in your language use. Good job!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ClaireMarch 14, 2021 at 5:52 AM

      Hi Jian Yeow,

      Thank you for your positive feedback, I'm glad you enjoyed my introduction.

      Best Regards,
      Claire Chia

      Delete
  2. Alexander QuahJanuary 20, 2021 at 7:17 PM

    Hello Claire! Thank you for the introduction! Interesting to know that we were from the same polytechnic! You have a clear and concise introduction about yourself. The way you have written is very courteous with good language. I find that an interesting experience could be given to make your introduction have more of a fun and wow factor and boost and make the introduction more concrete and complete!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ClaireMarch 14, 2021 at 5:54 AM

      Hi Alexander,

      Thank you for positive feedback, I will take a look at my post and improve on it further.

      Best Regards,
      Claire Chia

      Delete
  3. Wei YanJanuary 20, 2021 at 7:19 PM

    Hello Claire. Thank you for the concise and complete introduction, the given examples are coherent as well, which is in a logical flow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ClaireMarch 14, 2021 at 5:55 AM

      Hi Wei Yan,

      Thank you for your feedback, I'm glad that you found my post concise and complete.

      Best Regards,
      Claire Chia

      Delete
  4. Brad BlackstoneJanuary 22, 2021 at 6:16 PM

    Dear Claire,

    Thank you for this brief introductory letter. It's fairly well presented and rather informative. Like Alex though, I feel that the info you give is just the start. The post clocks in at around 200 words, which is far short of the expected minimum. Because it's so short, you barely cover the basics and don;t have a chance to wow us readers. We want to know more about you!

    In terms of language use, there are a few issues to consider.


    1. word forms
    - made me realized > (verb form)

    2. Sentence structure
    -- My strength in communication is that I am able to break the ice easily when I am around new people as I am very extroverted and I worked in customer service for a year so I am very used to talking to strangers. > (How can this sentence be made more succinct?)

    My strength in communication is that I am able to break the ice easily when I am around new people as I am very extroverted. In addition, I worked in customer service for a year so I am very used to talking to strangers.

    --- As for my weakness, I tend to become very nervous when I have to speak to a big crowd of people and because of my nerves, when I start speaking I stutter a lot. > (odd sentence structure _ Try to make this sentence more effective by breaking oyur ideas into two sentences.)

    3. overuse of capital letters

    I look forward to seeing how you can build on this effort.

    Best wishes,

    Brad

    ReplyDelete

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